Fashion Contrast

Below is a collection of issues that a travel agent in the USA has had to deal with when it comes to finding people the perfect trip abroad for a holiday, business or just general commuting. There are some truly fantastic examples in here of why perhaps Americans should not be allowed to travel. Or should just be thrown on a plane. It makes for some truly cringe-worthy reading!

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.  After going over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.  I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. “Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.”  Her response … click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”

I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He said “But they look so close on the map.”

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas.  When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am.  I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?” I said, “No, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I’m overweight, is there any connection?” After putting her on hold for a minute while I “looked into it” (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.”

A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes.” I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever.”

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.”

A woman called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York” The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?” “That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”

Its finally the kind of weather which we all dream off, and seem to get at funny times, thanks in part to the climate change which is going on all around us. This weekend I had the pleasure of taking a few road trips in the car hire (by the hour if you must know) which me and my better other half use every weekend. We find its cheaper then owning a car, and if booked in advance can be a heck of a lot cheaper then on the day.

When it comes to weekend activities, its fair to say the there are generally a lot of things to do: taking the rubbish out, going to the ‘tip’ ( a place as a child I visited with my father to get rid of all the horrible things from the garden, for years I never was allowed out of the car to go and play in the rubbish but now I am!) and of course just going for drive. It got me thinking however; with a plethora of activities requiring a fairly large car, is it actually worth renting a car or for eases sake.

Its a car yeah.

It could be said that infact my weekend chores could be made a lot easier if we decided to use a van hire firm and essentially killed two birds with one stone.

What do you think?

Surviving the current economic slump is something which I imagine is something fairly close to the heart for many people. Homeowners, Companies are all the same – they need to find ways of saving money.

Homeowners are notoriously savvy when it comes to making extra money to get by in hard times and the good. From personal experience I remember growing up with a plethora of different student types living in our house, the majority where lovely people who just wanted to save money by living cheaply with a family instead of living in Halls.

One idea which over the last few months which seems to be gaining more and more momentum, especially in larger cities is renting out your car parking space during the week, to commuters who are working nearby. On average the monthly rental amount is around £120 with the price steadily rising in cities where there is a serious issue with parking infrastructure.

London is one such example of how the savvy homeowner can ‘net’ in the regions of £600 a month for a good parking space. An amount definately not to be sniffed at, and a great way of paying of your mortgage quickly.

For many who only rent apartments or house’s, its worth checking with your landlord, and then perhaps even slipping some cash his/hers way as typically ’sub-letting’ breaks the majority of tenancy agreements. Of course a great thing to say to the landlord is that you are doing it for the ‘greater good’ rather then some extra pennies!

A concern that many perhaps will have after reading the above suggestion is “What about parking my own car?”. This is of course a valid concern and if you really need your car then perhaps this scheme isn’t for you. However, living in the highly evolved society that we happen to find ourselves, the options are endless as to alternatives to owning a car and frankly paying over the odds for the privilege.

To respond to that question would be obvious – Use public transport, walk or even car share with a friend. 3 solutions which perhaps now have been rammed down your throats so hard by the great and good media that they almost seem to be the ‘worst idea’s’ possible. One thoroughly overlooked scheme is short term car hire, which actually provides a very good service and a bigger bang for your buck.

A while ago I wrote about a Urban Car Sharing Schemes which essentially work under the same principle. I, myself tend to use public transport, as the colour of my Driving License has for a long time remained the colour green, thus rendering me a ‘provisional’ driver, something which I hope to change soon. For many it seems that public transport is an unnecessary hassle in the mornings and evening and leads to a stressful day.

For anyone looking for some excellent information and indeed a more well rounded article on the idea of either renting a car in the short term or even using your parking space as a means to earn some extra cash, should visit the Independents article from which this one is based.